CLINICAL OBSERVATIONS OF DUDES IN JERSEY, YORK, AND MINNESOTA

1.  In Jersey, a man is allowed to have a cat and a motorcycle.  This is not allowed in Minnesota.
2. In Jersey, men view everyone as a potential crazy person.  In Minnesota, men only view other men as potential crazy people and even then, it doesn't matter if the dude is crazy as long as he's smaller than you.
3. In New York, men are allowed to carry umbrellas. In Minnesota, this will get your ass kicked.
4. In New York, men are able to purchase and wear skinny jeans.  This is not possible in Minnesota.
5. In New York AND New Jersey, men are allowed to know how to cook and can still be muscular and wear jeans. This is not allowed in Minnesota except, of course, if there is a grill involved.  The grill must be outside or it, too, is not allowed.
6. In New Jersey, a man can watch Nascar and not have a pair of buck antlers somewhere on the premises.  In Minnesota, you are not allowed to watch Nascar unless you deer hunt.
7. In New Jersey, it is called hunting if you shoot a duck.  In Minnesota, this is known as target practice until deer/moose/bear season opens.
8. In Minnesota, if you lean in to talk to a stranger, the stranger will lean in, too, to hear you better.  In New York, they see you leaning in as a potential threat and immediately back up.
9.  In Minnesota, if you don't look every stranger in the eye, you are viewed as sneaky and not to be trusted.  In New York, if you look a stranger in the eye, you are viewed as mentally unstable and avoided.
10. In Minnesota, you need a reference person to be trusted. "Where you from?  Oh yeah? My second cousin's first grade teacher grew up there.  Do you know (insert name of person)?" In Jersey, it takes time to be trusted and no references will fix it.  In Minnesota, no time will fix it until a reference person is found.  I am unaware of any combination of events that will get a New Yorker to trust.